Why Sleeping Apart From My Partner Works For Me As An Introvert?

Why sleeping apart from my partner works for me as an introvert
Why sleeping apart from my partner works for me as an introvert
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Introverted people need more alone time and space to recharge – and for me, that includes when it comes time to sleep, too.

Why Sleeping Apart From My Partner Works For Me As An Introvert? Like HSPs need more time alone to recharge their batteries, need a really very good sleep to fill up our energy reserves.

Sensitive to the environment, we tend to be light sleepers – we hear almost everything, also we’re easily woken up by the tiniest things.

Like when someone talks into the room, or the cell phone rings up the notification. Factor in our almost – always racing minds, and a deep night of having the ability to restore to health (even when we’re completely out of the charge). 

As a highly sensitive introvert, the only place which suits me to sleep is my own bed. I refuse to do red-eye flights because there’s zero chance that I’ll fall asleep.

Doesn’t matter how amazing the destination, I’ll be like a mess when I arrive (I would appreciate those who can sleep anywhere, at any time; how much easier life must be).

It is ironic how hard it is for me to sleep, getting that sleep is the thing I love the most. Highly sensitive type people may need more sleep than the average person due to all the over excitement in our lives.

Bedroom and Noises.

Even in my bedroom, I’m unable to fall asleep unless my room is completely peaceful and dark. Although I live in a tranquil suburb, surrounded by trees and little else, I have not one, but two of the sound machines running all night.

And providing layers of white noise to mask any subtle noises I might hear, despite the high decibel ear plugs I sleep with regularly. As my bedroom is already dark, then also I cover my eyes with a face mask to guarantee no light will creep through.

Since I’ve been married (for almost 10 years) and I’ve slept alone the entire time. Person movements disturb me while having sleep, so I have my own bedroom. And prevent me from getting the rest I need.

When the topic is of sleep, I know that I demand more of it, as I’m high-maintenance. There’s no other way. Still I do not feel it’s fair to impose my habits on my spouse, who has not a single issue with sleep. That is why sleeping apart from my husband works best for me as a highly sensitive introvert.

My Path to a Solid Night’s Sleep

When we were dating I had less problems sleeping next to,  with my now-husband. It was the thrill of getting newly in love. 

I would have been unable to share a bed with my partner in my previous long-term relationship. So we’d resigned ourselves to separating at night. And I always wondered if this contributed to the demise of our relationship.

Before my partner and I got engaged, he began to start snoring. As he had a habit of sleeping with the TV on. My need for complete silence was not noticed, but I’m sure it was a pain for him nonetheless. 

First thing we did was to turn off the TV when he began to get drowsy, so he would be able to quickly fall asleep. It worked out well for him, but as soon as he fell asleep, he started snoring and my struggle began. 

Sleeping Settings.

Till now, it takes me at least 30 minutes to fall asleep. It is challenging to quiet the overactive mind at the end of the day, as a highly sensitive introvert. It’s not easy for me to undo even in the quietest surroundings, so forget about a noisy place.

Sleeping next to my partner and prodding him to change his position in some attempts to stop the snoring. I would ultimately get up and shift to our guest room. Doing it every night, which took my sleep of 1 to 2 hours daily, and I woke up feeling less than stellar.

As sleeping apart helps both of us in getting sufficient rest. I could control my environment as I wanted, and have my introvert sanctuary, and my husband could do the same. Both of us were happy and well relaxed and rested. 

The way it turns out, it was not so easy, and we gave it an old college try. Highly sensitive introverts need more alone time and personal space to recharge our batteries.

My husband and I came to accept the fact that I needed space at night, and it was an indication of sleep requirement rather than deeper marital issues. My husband who is an extrovert now prefers his own sleeping space, too.

Sleeping Apart Is More Common Than You Think

If you are one of the HSPs and face problems sharing bed with your partner, make it clear that there’s nothing wrong with you. Sleeping with others can be overrated. Many of us spend our childhood sleeping alone, and then we are expected to share beds as adults.

It’s an expectation created by our society that hurts those of us who don’t fit into this image. Give permission to yourself to sleep on separate beds while having separate mattresses or separate rooms if you need that. This is a great advice for introverted people who are highly sensitive.

Over many years, I have encountered surprise and concern from relatives and peers when they hear about our sleeping arrangements. It’s something for which, I used to feel disgusted speaking about.

But as I have become more friendly with the reasons behind, I used to discuss it more oftenly. What I’ve noticed may come as a surprise: My husband and I are far from alone in this decision.

Ideally, couples should sleep apart for the best sleep. A study shows that sleeping with a partner causes up to 50 percent more sleep disturbances.

Also check: Relationship Problems in Introverts

Written by yuvraj

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